Co-parenting

admin — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 04:28:52 +0000

Increasingly, families are recognizing that children need to have both parents involved in their lives. More so than ever before, parenting time and responsibilities are shared, often equally, between parents. Professionals who routinely work with families regarding these issues will often promote “the best interest of the child.” Parents are advised to have a plan well in advance of any major transition such as separation/divorce, moving to a new home or changing schools. In order to find an optimal situation that is child-centered, parents need to get clear about their unique parenting strengths and limitations. A lack of coordination can contribute to parental conflicts over discipline, rules, homework, nutrition, bedtime and the management of extracurricular activities.

Successful communication with your ex tends to be more business-like and focused on the children’s needs, schedules and major accomplishments. Children adapt with relative ease to the differences in homes and parenting styles; however, it is essential to their well-being that parents are adequately informed of struggles, changes in routines or schedules. Predictability gives children a sense of well-being and helps to establish some control over their lives. Children of all ages benefit psychologically, socially and academically when they can rely on their parents for stability, amicability and clear and consistent expectations delivered in a firm and loving manner.

Parents can help their children adjust to divorce by:

Minimizing conflict as it has an extreme negative impact on children & teens;
Seeking a high degree of cooperation between parents;
Establishing detailed & structured schedules with particular attention to creating predictability and continuity around transitions, routines and around bedtime rituals.

Dr. Sheila Kamlet

750 East Ninth Avenue Suite 101

Denver, CO 80203

sheilakamlet@gmail.com

303-355-5602

TRANSITIONS

admin — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 04:28:11 +0000

Life is a continuous thread of endings and new beginnings, transitions if you will. The human condition is constantly in flux, always changing. We transition through relatively small events without much notice. However, when we experience a significant loss or a major life transition, we often engage in a process of grieving. Even when the past was undesirable, it is still familiar and, consequently, comfortable. When pushed outside of our comfort zone, most people report feeling fearful and vulnerable when facing uncertainty particularly when the changes affect emotional, physical and financial security.

There are things you can do to facilitate the process:

Allow yourself to experience the full range and intensity of emotional reactions including negative feelings such as anger, disappointment, sadness, confusion, frustration and resentment;
Identify the steps that need to occur in order to move toward letting go;
Accept change and uncertainty as natural aspects of life;
Recognize transitions as opportunities to know yourself more deeply and to move closer toward a life that fits with your values and priorities;
Avoid isolation…friends & family want to be supportive, but are often unclear about what is needed. Ask for help & be specific about what you need! Engage in activities that allow you to cultivate interests & socialize with like-minded adults;
Psychotherapy can be a tremendous source of support & a helpful way to expand your resources during a difficult time in your life.

Dr. Sheila Kamlet, Psy.D.

Dr. Sheila Kamlet - Psychologist Denver

Co-parenting

TRANSITIONS